personal, writing

My compulsion to write

Since a young age I’ve always loved stories, stories of any sort. And since the age of 13 I’ve wanted to be an author. I love writing stories, it gives me a way of exploring things I love, things I’m interested in, and things I’m simply interested in.

I come across an idea that I’ve picked up somewhere and mold it, either intentionally or not, to become my own. I add things to that idea until it becomes a snowball, then I let it roll out my fingers onto whatever is in front of me – wither it be on a computer at a library, the back pages of my uni notebooks or even a specially prepared notebook for each of my story ideas.

It’s strange how my writing compulsion works. At times I can write a couple of thousand words a day for a few weeks, then I stop. This could be because I’ve finished or have simply lost the will to write. But it is not burn out, as I’ve felt that before and this is different.

But soon the writing compulsion returns and it directs me to either to return to the same story, or to another story waiting in the wings, or even to a new story that only recently formed in my head. I don’t think I could ever be without it. This compulsion is what pushes me to get my stories out.

Sometimes I think that if I didn’t have this desire to write then I don’t know what I’d do with life. There is nothing else that compares with this desire. While I had interests in drawing and animals when I was a kid and teenager, they have almost disappeared into the background, most likely because I don’t engage in them anymore. Maybe if I didn’t write then I’d have more interest in these, but I don’t know.

It has only been recently that I’ve started writing, as what I would call, full time. This is because I had both finished my bachelor’s and had a 2 month break in between postgraduate study. All this spare time allowed me to write to my heart’s content. I look back on the amount of words I’ve written and sometimes I don’t believe it. Currently 2 stories at around 40,000 words, another has 20,000 already written and not finished. I have others that need re-writing and continued effort. And every one of them I will get to.

 

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