Oh, my God, I have to spend my holidays with my Dad in the no nothing place of Kettle Burn, which is, by the way, the shittiest little place. And guess what? My cousin Megan, who is 16 by the way, has gotten herself knocked up and isn’t telling no one who did it. Now her Mum wants me to find out! How the hell is that going to happen? If Megan won’t tell her mum why would she tell me? Also, she can be quite a bitch and it’s a pain hanging out with her. God, thank you, Mum, for ditching this place and taking me with you. It’s just a fucking pity that I have to keep coming back here.